free harpoons.

unoriginal content-TO THE MAX-since 2009

Apr 18
DING DONG FOOTBALL turned 2 today!

DING DONG FOOTBALL turned 2 today!


Jan 27

Beyond Compare

fraszier:

A fan on the street praises Frasier for the thoughtful and articulate comparisons he occasionally uses to illustrate callers’ predicaments on his radio show. His ego swelling, the verbose psychiatrist soon begins to work increasingly elaborate and convoluted similes, metaphors, analogies and syllogisms into every single call until even his most basic advice is all but incomprehensible.

Niles is torn between a choice of two new belts at an upscale men’s clothing store, and wonders if it’s ultimately more fashionable to purchase the aesthetically pleasing but discounted belt, or one that’s boastworthily expensive but garish and uncomfortable. He decides to call Frasier from his cell phone for guidance, but is met with a tidal wave of extraneous comparisons between himself and the narrator of Robert Frost’s “The Road Not Taken”, elementary particles caught in quantum superposition and obscure Norse characters in search of the megingjörð, the deity Þórr’s mythical belt of strength. The elder brother’s rambling allusions continue to evolve in passion and complexity until Niles finally terminates the call. Wandering outside in deep thought over the dilemma, the beltless doctor is arrested after his pants fall down in front of a crowded elementary school.

Daphne misplaces a decimal point while comparing the exchange rates of American and British currency, leading her to believe that her several thousand US dollars of saved-up housekeeping income are worth millions in British pounds. After retrieving the funds - always paid in cash “for tax purposes” - from under the mattress in her bedroom, the longsuffering servant dramatically quits her post, storming from the Cranes’ apartment and heading straight for the airport whereupon she’ll return home to Manchester a millionaire. As she attempts to pay the agitated cab driver for her expensive crosstown ride, Daphne is horrified to discover that every single one of her hoarded bills is merely a detailed counterfeit bearing portraits of Frasier’s face.

Martin attempts to choose his own breakfast cereal the next morning without Daphne there to prepare his meals. He casually turns to his first-born son for aid, but Frasier’s gift for comparison has reached critical mass. The sheer number of breakfast options and stifling banality of Martin’s situation leaves the grandiose therapist at a genuine loss for words, unable to verbalize even a single simile as the confused old man wavers like a flimsy inflatable gorilla in a used car display lot on a windy afternoon.


Dec 28

beatonna:

that’s not a trick or anything even close 


Dec 9

jessandlen:

uptightcitizen:

corypalmer:

britajames:

claireayoublaughingatthings:

avcnyc:

ohthatsdope:

iamayoungfeminist:

blvcknvy:

Licia Ronzulli, member of the European Parliament, has been taking her daughter Vittoria to the Parliament sessions for two years now.

 

I’m sorry but women get shit done. In fact, not sorry. 

One day that little girl will either kill us or rule us.

Instant re-blog

Awesome! 

The first time I saw this a while back, I just thought “huh, cool.” But it really just hit me what immersion like this can really do during those developmental years. This little girl will have Parliamentary procedure in her bones. That’s crazy. And still very cool.

Hey, look what happens when people don’t make a big deal out if stuff like this. Guess what? A big deal does not get made. There would be a shitstorm if someone tried to do this in America. The mother in question would also be expected to either quit her job or find daycare.

One of my best friends took the time to warn her employer that she was pregnant and get them to agree to a set up that would be beneficial to both her and the company. After the baby came and it came time to make good, the company pulled out and said it was because it wasn’t fair to other people. She was gradually forced out of her job and my friend went from managing a successful store to having to endure a debate over whether they were going to pay her the top wage for a cashier.

I say this from experience and I have way more instances to back this up: The grocery store that rhymes with Raider Moe’s is a misogynist boys’ club that literally hates women.

Important!

(via paulftompkins)


Nov 24

#horror #bathos #clairedenis


Oct 14

lastvhs:

Andrew Lloyd Webber dancing to the Cantina song from Star Wars 

From Comedy Bang Bang Live Tour: Detroit

(via paulftompkins)


Aug 21
subpop:

Nirvana’s original contract with Sub Pop. Six hundred bucks well spent—not that we had it at the time.

subpop:

Nirvana’s original contract with Sub Pop. Six hundred bucks well spent—not that we had it at the time.


Jul 25
[Lynch dept.]

[Lynch dept.]


Jul 2

(via hmwebseries)


May 24

I think the anthropologists say eyewitnesses. These people did exist.
Stories are told of them still.
Eyewitnesses, said Geryon.
Yes. People who saw the inside of the volcano.
And came back.
Yes.
How do they come back?
Wings.
- Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red (1998)

I think the anthropologists say eyewitnesses. These people did exist.

Stories are told of them still.

Eyewitnesses, said Geryon.

Yes. People who saw the inside of the volcano.

And came back.

Yes.

How do they come back?

Wings.

- Anne Carson, Autobiography of Red (1998)


May 2

Apr 26

michellelegro:

Helooooooo Sam Waterston. 

92y:

Sam Waterston, Charlotte Rampling and Robie Porter in James Salter’s lost film, “Three” (1969).

Susan Sontag introduced James Salter at a 92Y reading in 1997 with “If he can be described as a writer’s writer, then I think it’s just as true to say he’s a reader’s writer; that is, he’s a writer who particularly rewards those for whom reading is an intense pleasure and something that is a bit of an addiction. I myself put James Salter among the very few North American writers all of whose work I want to read and whose as yet unpublished books I wait for impatiently.”

Salter returns to 92Y on Monday night (Apr 29) with Richard Ford.

[Sam Waterston dept.]


Page 1 of 34